Do you feel like the lady in this picture? Like your whole body is getting ready to spontaneously combust? I sure used to! I may not have looked like that but I definitely felt like that inside.
Are you sick of feeling like crap? Stressed out, exhausted, frustrated, miserable, and possibly even having health problems as a result? Enough is enough!! It’s time to get your balance back…to get your LIFE back.
I lived in this place for so many years. I wanted to come out of my own skin. I wanted to run away and escape but I felt trapped in a life that I hated. When I tried to think of ways to change it I always had a reason as to why those ways wouldn’t work. These are called “limiting beliefs” and I’ll talk more about those in a bit.
I thought I needed a roadmap and a plan to make a change. But that just kept me stuck in my own misery because living in our truth requires us to follow our hearts and our hearts don’t give us a laid out plan.
Our hearts require us to live by steps of faith. It gives us one step at a time. As you follow each of step forward, you’ll get more and more direction and they become bigger and better. The more you step into the unknown the more doors start opening. It’s quite the adventure! Don’t we all want an exciting adventurous life?
If you are stressed out then what you’re doing in your life IS NOT WORKING. You are completely out of alignment with yourself and doing things for the wrong reasons.
So how do we fix this in such a chaotic world???
First and foremost, stress is huge everywhere right now. What I have observed in my many years of working with stressed out people (as well as being one) is that we were all living by society’s standards. We were all living this life that we felt like we HAD to live. A path we felt we HAD to follow.
You see, after the war and the depression, America put this new design in place which was to go to college, get a degree, find a career with a company, climb the ladder, work hard, get married, buy a house, raise a family, then finally at 65 years old you can enjoy life and travel the world. A “roadmap” was put in place for all Americans.
But the thing is…this plan was created to keep us “SAFE”, it was never designed to keep us HAPPY.
With this plan, people learned to live from their brains (our survival mechanism) and following your heart and dreams went out the window. It became all about survival and doing what you had to do to “survive”. This is fear based living.
Your heart on the other hand is your guidance. It points you where to go on your God given path in this world. We all have different paths and purposes, so a one size fits all roadmap DOES NOT WORK! And that is clear today with the stress and misery we see everywhere.
When I worked in corporate, everyone I knew was unhappy and at the end of the day they would go home, drink wine, and lay in front of the TV. Their weekends weren’t much different. Being in a soul sucking job that you don’t love will steal your life. Being out of alignment with who you are meant to be will steal your life!
Do you want to look back on your death bed and say “I worked at a job I hated, I drank, and I laid in front of the TV because I was too emotionally drained to do anything more”??
For me, I knew there was something better out there. I didn’t know how I was going to get it but I knew I had to do something. So I did! If I did it, you can do it too.
“Your heart and your instincts are far more reliable than your brain. When you follow your heart, you can be sure you won’t regret it later. Even if you calculate your every move, it’s not like life ever goes according to plan.” – Nithya Menen
Here are the steps to start finding yourself, getting in alignment with yourself, hearing your heart, and starting on YOUR path towards a new life…a better life!
STOP EVERYTHING! Go to a quiet peaceful place and just be quiet for awhile. No stressful thoughts allowed! You will need to first start finding places of calmness where you can shut down your brain and focus on beauty around you. Go sit on a bench by a lake, sit on a rock by the river or if you love flowers go sit somewhere full of flowers. Instead of letting your brain do the talking I want you to just look around you, feel the beauty, hear the quiet, hear nature and just be in this moment.
You have to start with calming the storm inside of you before you can go to the next step. Do this daily if you can and make it a priority. Even if some days your only place of calmness can be in a closed room, on your drive to work, or outside of your office building.
Once you’ve learned to calm the storm and are able to focus on beauty around you instead of stress, it’s time to sit down with yourself and ask the following questions:
What is causing my stress?
On a notepad or on your laptop, start writing down your answers. Is it your job? Is it the people you have chosen to surround yourself with? Have you said yes to too many things? Are you trying to juggle too much? Is it a relationship you are in that feels heavy? Is it a health problem? It could be one of these things, a few of these things, or something totally different. Write them down and don’t rush this.
For me I found that it was my career. It felt like so many things were causing my stress but it all boiled down to my career and in turn it affected every single aspect of my life. Everything else felt stressful because my mind was in a constant state of stress. It’s crazy how one thing being out of alignment can affect your entire life.
Once you’ve identified the causes go a bit deeper as to why they are causing your stress.
As an example…with mine being my career, I first asked myself what in particular about my job is feeling so heavy? I had a great career, a great client, I made good money and had 6 weeks a year of vacation. But I was miserable. This won’t apply to everyone but for me I felt trapped. Even from a young child I didn’t like being told what to do and I liked coming up with my own ideas.
For years I managed my client very successfully with no executive management input and I thrived in that environment because it was like running my own business. I soar in that type of environment.
However, because I grew the business so much, senior management saw dollar signs and wanted to start getting involved. In turn they started dictating my next steps and poking around in my day to day management. They were pushing me to do things that were the opposite of what I had done to make my client so happy up to that point. They started rocking my boat!
As soon as someone tries to tell me how to do my job or force me into a box, I shut down and I become resistant. BUT all this was a path that showed me who I was and how I thrived best. I work best running my own show! I hate the 9-5 and being told when and where to be every day.
I am a creative! I didn’t even realize that for a long time.
I love to help people and strategize ways to fix problems and make things better for everyone. That’s what I did with the clients I managed and that’s why I was successful because I cared. If your clients are just dollar signs to you, you will not thrive. You have to CARE.
Here’s the thing, if you look at whatever is causing your stress in detail…you are going to start finding clues to who you are and your needs/tendencies. This is going to start leading you on your path. So pay close attention to it!
Now that you have identified what is causing your stress and what feels heavy about that particular stressor, open up your mind and heart and ask:
If there were no money limitations, job limitations, relationship limitations, etc. What would I want to do with my life?
This is the fun part. DREAM BIG! You might want to do some things that you’ve never tried before. You may want to travel. Maybe you’ve always wanted to work a specific job. Write it all down! Let your heart speak and just flow with this!
Write down your limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are when you have a dream but you have all of these reasons as to why it can’t happen. You’re too old, you don’t have any money, the time isn’t right, and so on. I was good at making up limiting beliefs in my head.
You have to realize that the Universe is in control and ANYTHING is possible if you follow your heart and start taking steps towards what you want no matter how small the steps are. You will be surprised how fast the transition happens when you just start walking towards your dreams.
Write down your limiting beliefs/fears in one column and in the column next to it, write down the truth. The truth is that if you follow your heart doors will open…you just have to start taking action. This is how God works. Our brains on the other hand look for everything that can go wrong. Listen to your heart, it has no fear. You only live once, make things happen!
What small steps can you start making TODAY towards your dreams?
Make a list of what you can start doing today to move towards your dreams. Can you cut back on something and start putting that money aside? You want to learn something new…can you start taking classes? You want a new job that seems impossible…what can you do to make it possible? Can you start networking with people in that area or can you take classes to gain more skills? Find a way because you CAN do it! If it’s in your heart and it’s a passion, it’s possible.
In conclusion, don’t let yourself remain stressed out and unhappy. Start looking at your life. Remove those heavy things and embrace those things that excite you and make you feel alive! THAT my friend, is God guiding you to YOUR path in life. You can take it and live an amazing adventurous life or you can remain stuck and miserable.
What choice will you make? I hope you choose to take the ride!