Fear. It comes in so many forms that most of the time we don’t even realize we are making decisions based on fear. It sneaks in, it deceives us. Fear is a liar.
When we worry, when we stress, when we’re jealous, when we judge others, when we are insecure, when we follow the crowd…these are all based on fear.
Whether it’s fear of something going wrong, fear of losing our security, fear of what other people think, fear of not being loved by others, and fear of not being enough.
“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will”
I lived fear based for most of my life and didn’t even realize that fear was the driver. I always thought I was brave and fearless but I was making “safe” decisions. These “safe” decisions kept me stuck and unhappy.
Once I started going deep and looking at where each emotion and decision was individually coming from, I realized most of it was out of fear of something.
When we think of fear we usually think of skydiving, heights, running from a bear, tornados, car accidents, or any other drastic fight or flight thing that can happen to us that threatens our life. We don’t tend to look at fear in our day to day emotions.
Fear comes from our brains. Our brains are our survival mechanism and they are always thinking of everything that can go wrong and how we can protect ourselves from that. BUT…we only need this information when we are in a life or death situation.
We need to have a healthy balance between our mind and our hearts. Our hearts hold our guidance, our passions, our purpose. Our hearts have no fear because they know our path and they know the outcome is beautiful.
The thing is, we are safest when we live from our hearts. But following our hearts seems so scary because we don’t know where they are taking us! We don’t know the outcome and we’re constantly fighting with our brain saying “what if???”. We want a plan, an outcome, a roadmap!
This Universe is based on FAITH. What you hear from your heart is God leading you. Your heart isn’t as loud and obnoxious as your brain. It quietly says, “this is the way if you choose to trust me”. What will you choose?
We have to make a deliberate effort to take the time throughout the day to quiet our brain and hear our hearts. What do we REALLY want out of life? The answers are all right there in your heart. Let go of fear and grab on to YOUR life adventure…it’s patiently waiting for you!
“Let your faith be bigger than your fear”
So how do we get out of this fear based mindset? Keep in mind that you’ve been living this way for a very long time and it’s going to take some time and conscious effort to change the way you think. DO THE WORK! It’s so worth it.
This is how my heart guided me to change my fear based living:
Quiet Your Mind and Go Inward
I know I say this in almost every blog post but it’s truly the key to your sanity! Getting quiet, shutting off my brain, and connecting to what I wanted my life to be, what I wanted this day to be, and how I wanted to feel was a game changer for me.
We typically go into the day like we’re going into battle and we react from our brains to every obstacle that’s thrown our way.
When you take time in the morning to focus on who you want to be today, how you’re going to handle unexpected obstacles, and how you are going to treat people, you’ll see that when these things come up you will remember how you planned to handle them and you will be able to think more clearly. You’ll be ahead of the game…you came prepared.
I start every day with some quiet time. I pray about anything that is bothering me, I ask for help, and I let it go and trust. Then I read something from an encouraging book. Right now I’m using Joyce Meyer’s 365 day “The Power of Being Thankful”. It’s a short page each day that’s easy to squeeze in even if you’re busy. Sometimes I’ll do a guided meditation from my Calm app as well.
In the evening I usually have a book I’m reading and I’ll read a chapter every night before bed. I make sure to plan my evening so I’m in bed an hour before I need to be asleep and I read my chapter (doing the work & taking action). Right now I’m reading Max Lucado’s “Unshakeable Hope”. Wow it’s powerful! It empowers me and even makes me wake up feeling hopeful.
This is just what I do and I’m giving you ideas to start your practice. You can choose those inspiring things and quiet time that work for you best. The key is to connect to yourself in a peaceful, loving manner.
Investigate Your Feelings/Emotions
When stressful things come up, when you become frantic, angry, or if you have a bad reaction to something that has happened…stop and investigate.
Walk away, go sit in your car, go in a room and close the door, whatever it is you need to do to be able to focus and ask “Why am I reacting this way? Where is this coming from and why do I feel like this?” Go deep.
It’s important to not blame others for the way you feel because yes, people can be triggers, but it’s what’s inside of you that reacts to those triggers.
I know because I blamed everything around me for how I felt and what was bad in my life. The truth is WE are in control of our lives…no one else. It’s up to us to let the past go and to get our insides in a good place. People only have control of how we feel if we let them.
People will always disappoint us but we should get to a place where we can realize what other people do is because of their damage and it has nothing to do with us or our value.
Another thing that helps me is to buy books or listen to podcasts that are about whatever challenge I’m having. For example, if you are dealing with fear…find a book on fear. If you are dealing with anger, with rejection, with depression…find a book on that. It REALLY helps! Any time we take action you are going to see awesome results. So fight for YOU!
Make the change!
Now that you’ve connected to yourself more and you are taking deliberate action to prepare yourself for the day ahead, and feeding yourself daily inspiration…now it’s time to start taking action.
Be aware, be connected, let life flow without it causing you chaos. Stay calm and breathe through tough things. Have FAITH! Listen to your heart. If you are not happy where you are at then take steps to change it. Let your life be awesome and follow your guidance in your heart. Do it AFRAID!
Do NOT let fear rule your life. We live once. GO BIG!
“He who has overcome his fears, will truly be free” – Aristotle
If as you work through this you have something you’d like to share please be vulnerable and comment below or even send me an email if that feels more comfortable. When we share our obstacles and journeys it helps others as well.
Go have a fear free day!
Much love to you,
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As always, right on the money! Excellent read.
Thanks Ralph! 🙂
Love, love, love this article. So true and just what I needed to hear today. It is so crazy how it crops up all the time and prevents forward movement. I am working on not letting it stop me…thanks for these lovely words.
Thank you! Isn’t it funny how things pop up right when we need them? Fear is a constant I think for all of us and it’s awesome to hear that you won’t let it stop you! Your life will be full and awesome because of it. 😉